Monday, November 15, 2010

Big Ten Power Poll

Jesus, it's been a while, hasn't it.  For the five people who stop by here on a regular basis, I did not forget this blog existed.  I was just um, busy, you know?

Anyway, that isn't an excuse for my absence.  No more ignoring the old site, and hopefully I will find time to get a couple posts up a week.  Also I am toying around with a new design for the site, but when the decision comes down to writing or screwing around on Photoshop I will usually go with writing.  Usually.

Hopefully the new layout happens this week, but don't hold your breath.

On to the Big Ten power poll:

1. Shitty weather - Well it is November again, and you know what that means for Big Ten teams:  there is a 25% chance your team's game takes place in the kind of weather that makes you wish you stayed home and watched it on your 50 inch plasma TV.  Technology has made you soft.

2. Ohio State (2nd half only) - The Buckeyes took a while to find their groove on Saturday, but once they grabbed ahold of momentum the game got out of hand quick.  Thirty-four unanswered in the second half.  Two pick-sixes served up by Matt McGloin (Mick-Six?), and a stifling defensive performance that saw Penn State stopped after three plays in the final five drives of the game.  Welcome back to "underachieving" Penn State.  We kept your seat warm for you.

3. Michigan State - Winners without taking the field.  Iowa's annual loss to just Northwestern removes one of the two teams standing between the Spartans and the satisfying side of a tiebreaker.

4. Sportsmanship - It still exists in the Big Ten, just not in....

5. Wisconsin - "But we didn't try to run up the score, Indiana just couldn't stop us."  Save it for your eventual losing argument to the BCS.  Between this and the two point conversion against Minnesota earlier in the year ("but the card says go for two when you're already up by four touchdowns!") it seems like Brett Bielema has a bit of bad karma built up.  Might I suggest turning the ball over eight times against Michigan this weekend (That should be good for at least a +2 turnover margin for the slippery fingered Wolverines.  ZING).

6. Just Northwestern - Congrats Wildcats, you have once again ruined Iowa's season on your way to seven wins, and it only cost you the most valuable offensive weapon on the team.  Make a deal with the devil and you can bet he is going to come to collect sometime.

7. Penn State (1st half only) - For as great as the Buckeyes played in the second half, the first 30 minutes absolutely belonged to the Nittany Lions.  Two 10+ play scoring drives while holding the Buckeyes to a field goal and four straight punts.  Too bad the Nittany Lions caught a case of the "Northwesterns" last week and forgot to show up for the second half.

8. Revenge of the Nerds - A staple of Comedy Central's daytime lineup, and an inspiring tale for nerds everywhere.

9. Iowa - At some point the jocks are going to need some revenge of their own.  This annual "rivalry" is getting a bit one sided (and as a Michigan fan I should  know).  (Quick tangent:  I once watched the first half hour of an American Pie movie that was based on this same premise.  The honor frat controlled the school and made life hell on the cool kids who just wanted to have keg parties and sleep with girls--who were all coincidentally infatuated with the nerds for their money and power.  I didn't stick around to see how it ended--although one can imagine.  While this is just another example of the decaying standards of the movie industry (or is it the American public?), at least they didn't remake Animal House with Dane Cook* as Stratton, Zac Efron as Larry, and Jonah Hill as Bluto.)

10. Michigan's Defense - Held Purdue without an offensive touchdown.

11. Michigan's Offense - All but gift wrapped 10 of Purdue's 16 points.

12. Minnesota - The bad news:  The Gophers waited a little over two months to notch the second victory of the season.  The good new:  Waiting two months to get the second win of the season is what got Tim Brewster fired.

13. Ryan Kerrigan - Purdue really doesn't have an offense to speak of, so replacing the team in the power rankings is Kerrigan.  I watched Brandon Graham toil away on a terrible defense last year, and Kerrigan is making the same kind of dominant plays with just a little more help.  Impressive performance for a guy who isn't getting as much national attention as he should.

14. Illinois - Remember when we all thought Ron Zook was off the hot seat?  I knew it was too good to be true for the Zooker.

(Dis)honorable Mention - Indiana - Just because Wisconsin tries to run up the score, doesn't mean you have to let them.

* (I blanked on Cook's name, so I did a google search for "unfunny comedian".  His picture was the first result.  Google knows all.)

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